Archive for the 'WTF' Category

Save Us From Ourselves!

An excellent piece of tabloid journalism from the BBC News site:

Call for law change on quad bikes

“Doctors say the law should be changed to force people who use road-legal quad bikes to wear helmets.

Accident and emergency medics say lives are put at risk because riders do not have to wear protective gear – despite the fact the bikes can reach 90mph.”

Oh my word! Think of the children! Something must be done!

And yet…

There are no separate statistics on the numbers of quad bike crashes, but two particularly high-profile accidents have made headlines and brought the dangers to wider public attention.

In 1998, comedian Rik Mayall suffered serious head injuries and spent five days in a coma after his quad bike overturned while he was riding it at his farm in Devon.

In 2003, rock musician Ozzy Osbourne spent eight days in a coma, broke eight ribs and punctured a lung while riding a quad bike in the grounds of his Buckinghamshire mansion. He was not wearing a helmet at the time of the crash.”

So there’s nothing to support such a cry for us to be protected from ourselves. And clearly the high profile accidents took place off road. Not sure what a crash helmet would have done to save Ozzy’s broken ribs and punctured lung, but hey, let’s not let facts get in the way of a hysterical piece of so-called journalism.

Football Supporters

I wonder if there is any particular reason why the manufacturers of football and rugby replica kits decided not to make them from cotton or a similar absorbent material?

Maybe they just want their customers to stink of BO after a wee while…

H&R Insurance

One of the adverts over on the right of this site from time to time is for H&R Insurance, peddling their bike insurance online using Google Ads.

In order to get a quote, you have to agree, amongst other things, that:

“5. The motorbike has not been modified in any way.

6. There are no accessories fitted to the bike.”

That must mean they insure very few bikes…

Iron Butt Charity Ride

1000 miles in 24 hours (plus 400 miles to and from the start!)

I’ve signed up to do this: the Royal British Legion is holding an event under the Iron Butt Association SaddleSore 1000 rules. There are several aims, first to raise money for Royal British Legion. The second is to try and take the record from the Americans. And the third is obviously the personal challenge of trying to ride 1000 miles in 24 hours (plus a 400 mile round trip to and from the starting point!).

The event starts on Friday 19th June at 12:00 with riders briefing, with riders departing between 08:00 and 09:00 on Saturday 20th June, completing the ride by 09:00 on Sunday 21st June.

I have sent off my entry form along with a cheque for £30 but I will also need to raise at least £50 of sponsorship.

As for the ride there are four routes, two north, and two south. I am taking the Route B North Anti Clockwise.

The RBLR website and route details is here.

The easiest way for me to collect sponsorship is the just giving website at http://www.justgiving.com/richardhmorris – they can claim the gift aid on your behalf.

Please sponsor me!

Peter Rabbit Tank Killer

I came across these the other day: in the scans I’ve seen, the text is reproduced in the style of the Peter Rabbit books but someone decided to replace the word “fucker” with “bastard”…

Anyway, for your pleasure:

Cover

Continue reading ‘Peter Rabbit Tank Killer’

“I’m sure that the majority of motorists would support the proposals”

From the same bunch of fuckwits that brought you “People ‘can’t wait for ID cards’” comes news of another twat suggesting that if the road speed limit was cut to 50mph the majority of motorists would support the new restrictions, which would be enforced by average speed cameras.

Well here’s news for you, Jim Fitzpatrick: I would be dead against yet another piece of ill-conceived, knee-jerk legislation from you bunch of arrogant control freaks! Or, put another way, you can fuck right off you power-crazed, arrogant, self-obsessed piece of shit!

Sounds like it’s about time for some well organised campaign of civil disobedience before the nanny state imposes yet more draconian legislation on us. Any takers?

The Latest Bandwagon

So the BBC’s Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson is in trouble for calling our glorious leader, Gormless Brown, a “one-eyed, Scottish idiot.”

All sorts of people with their own agendas such as Labour MPs (especially Scottish ones…) and disability activists are hopping onto this latest bandwagon to denounce him and demand that the BBC acts to punish him.

Why?

El Gordo is indeed one-eyed. Fact.

He is Scottish. Fact.

He is an idiot. Opinion.

And?

For what it’s worth, I think Jeremy Clarkson is a twat. That’s my opinion. But frankly the bigger twats are these complete and utter wankers who want political correctness to ruin our society. Fuck the lot of them!

I Fought The Law

So then. Not a lot of good press for the boys in blue recently.

Despite being stopped from delivering an Unlawful Killing verdict, the jury in the Jean Charles de Menezes inquest chose not to believe the evidence from the police – none of whom are being charged with anything, by the way – that they had shouted warnings before shooting an innocent man, choosing instead to believe the evidence of all the other passengers who heard and saw the whole things and were unanimous in saying that no such warning was given by anyone. So an Open Verdict was the ‘best’ they were allowed to reach.

That they may have lied about it to protect themselves when taken with the appallingly incompetent way in which the whole thing was mishandled is a pretty big indictment on how the police see themselves as being well above the laws they are supposed to enforce.

Of course, it always looks bad when people like Police minister Vernon Coaker has to apologise for telling Parliament that 70 officers were injured dealing with protests at Kingsnorth power station. Why?

“According to information obtained by the Liberal Democrats, Kent Police officers and staff suffered only 12 reportable injuries, four of which involved direct contact with another person.

“The Lib Dems said the eight other injuries included being “stung on finger by possible wasp”, “officer injured sitting in car” and “officer succumbed to sun and heat”.

“Kent Police confirmed that 12 officers were required to retire from duty because of their injuries.”

But of course the reports of all those “injuries” was used to justify the heavy-handed policing and stop and search tactics employed by the police.

On which subject, I should add that I saw on the local BBC News that plans were in place for people to be stopped and searched for drugs and knives when boarding Thames dinner cruise boats this Christmas: we’ll see, because one of the places they mentioned such searches would be taking place is where I’ll be going this week.

I suppose it makes a change for them to stop and search a white, middle-aged professional. A few weeks back, I was travelling through Leytonstone tube station where a large police presence were carrying out a stop and search on black males whilst I walked straight through. Maybe a white, middle-aged professional type in a suit and carrying a laptop case isn’t likely to be committing a crime?

Or perhaps they do. But on a much, much larger scale…

That 1.5% Base Rate Cut and Those Banks

So the Bank of England yesterday cut base rates by 1.5% to their lowest level since the 50s.

Now bearing in mind we as taxpayers have pumped billions of pounds into the banking sector after they proved they were all so incompetent to have got themselves into this mess, how do you think they have reacted? Have they passed it on to us to say ‘thank you’ and to help us out of the situation they have put us in?

No. They blame the LIBOR and claim that that is stopping them from passing on the base rate cut. Erm… Sorry, who sets the interbank offered rate? That would be … the banks…

“People ‘can’t wait for ID cards’”

So claims Home Secretary Jacqui Smith:

“I regularly have people coming up to me and saying they don’t want to wait that long.”

ORLY?

Who? Sheeple? People working for the companies that would operate the system at huge public expense?

Name names or shut up about these ludicrous claims!